We can all be found doing things to ourselves that are not life-affirming, not positive, and that do not enhance our well-being. But sometimes, we’ve been doing these things for so long that we don’t have any way to know that we are doing them, until someone points them out. In some cases, we do know, but we haven’t figured out a way to change.
Here are 5 things that many of us do, that block us from true peace and happiness, and we might want to consider stopping:
1. Stop putting your needs behind everyone else’s. It is common for many people, especially women, to put everyone else’s needs first. We are given subtle and not so subtle messages from society that our needs aren’t as important. This is particularly true of many mothers. There’s an unspoken code in motherhood that seems to call “selfish” anything a mom does for herself. But anyone can fall victim to this pattern, especially if you grew up in an environment where other people depended on you from a very young age.
Realize that you are not here ONLY for everyone else. You can take care of yourself, and take care of your own needs. These acts of self-care will make you stronger and more able to help others.
2. Stop beating yourself up for things you did in the past. Everyone has at one time or another, done something they wish they hadn’t. We can’t go back in time and undo what is already done. But, by constantly thinking back to our mis-steps, we are drawing our power and energy away from the present — the only time we actually have! So instead of doing something we can be joyful and proud about now, we waste energy sending it backwards in time while we beat ourselves up. Meanwhile, today is slowly slipping away.
Leave the past behind, write an “unsent letter” to anyone you feel you have unresolved business with. Get those feelings out once and for all, and then burn the letter and let the energy of the past go up in smoke. Today’s a new day.
3. Stop spending time with people who don’t uplift and appreciate you. As cliche as it sounds, life really IS too short to spend it with people who are draining your life energy from you. People who put you down, people who are not happy for you when you succeed, and people who constantly criticize, are not people who are helping you find your best self. They are people who have not worked out their own life issues, and are projecting their insecurities onto you. No need to be angry or upset with them, their process is their own. But recognize when to minimize your time with these people, or in some cases, cut the ties, so you can protect your energy, time and space, and fill it only with people who empower you.
4. Stop trying to be what other people want you to be, and be yourself instead. It can be the best day of your life — the day you decide that YOU are unique and not like anyone else. Once you do that, you can have the confidence to realize that you don’t need to be like anyone else. There is no reason to live your life the way anyone else thinks you should, and in fact, your life will have more meaning and more of a positive impact on the world if you become the truest version of yourself. The question to ask yourself is “who were you before the world told you who to become?” That’s a clue into who you really can be.
5. Stop letting the fear of failure stop you from achieving your dreams. Failure is not only ok, it is absolutely necessary in order to achieve greatness in your life. Failure is merely a step on your path to growth, and everyone who has ever achieved anything meaningful , has a string of failures in their past.
Start with these five steps and you will be on your way to living a more joyful and authentic life. Remember, no one can make these changes but you!
